4/27/2010

BTK here. Rough week. Since last time there are some stories to tell. Band Practice. Confrontation (Young vs. Old). BTK is Sick. Family wedding plans (not mine) begin.

Lets get started.

Band. Some parents might be pleased to have their son's rock 'n roll band practice in the family room. Advantages: no cover charge, autographs are free and requests are played instantly. Disadvantages : Five electric guitars and a full drum kit vibrate the walls and floors in a 1000 sq. ft. home beyond belief, the kitchen fills with interested homies, girlfriends and groupies who contribute nothing to the session and make it impossible to get food, ice or even leave my room for the bathroom until it's over. I could not hear to make or take phone calls and I could not think to answer e-mail. Don't get me wrong. I love this band and all the guys in it. But I need to hear them in a much larger venue that is not right below my bedroom/office. I had to leave.

Confrontation. When I returned. The din continued. I wrote my son, the drummer, a poison pen e-mail. Not the smartest move. But, what's done is done ( and frankly I would do it again.) There are six guys in this band. The only reason that practice is here is that my son will not say no. I am hoping I planted that seed. I'm betting I did not. That was Friday, 4/23. Since then we've exchanged a fiery e-mail thread and have not spoken.

I woke up last Tuesday (4/20) with an ear ache and a sore throat. Despite my other ailments, these are new symptoms for me. I was alarmed. I called Dr. Feel-good but couldn't get an appointment until Friday 4/23. I decided I would visit a " Minute Clinic" at CVS to see if I could get some immediate relief. Although I have a high threshold for pain, this was really bothering me. The nurse practitioner was professional. However, because of my existing HBP medication, she was not able to prescribe anything. Therefore, I had to wait for Friday (4/23) to see my own doctor and suffer through the band practice, virtually unmedicated. No fun at all.

Feeling somewhat better after using the prescriptions for several days. Still not 100%. But better.

Wedding. Spoke to my sister last night about the marriage of her daughter, my niece. My niece and her fiancé have selected the Greenbrier Resort in West Virginia. They will be married there by a minister who is a longtime family friend of her fiancé's family and will live in Columbus, Ohio where her fiancé's family runs a family-owned bakery business. The wedding is in February, 2011. Because I have special challenges connected with traveling, I will begin the planning immediately.

Thanks for reading. Your Comments are welcome.

April 21, 2010

My last post on "tax day" took us all over the place. I want to try and get back to the reason we gather here. I want to share my thoughts and experiences since the last time and hope you find something interesting. That said, off we go.

That Friday, 4/16, I heard from my friend, "D". She is a newly hired security consultant and project manager with a well-known firm. We spent some time on the phone. She explained how she had been treated as a new kid on the block. E-mails ignored. Meetings set aside "for a more important priority". That is, until her director called a mandatory meeting which "D" facilitated. At that meeting, her associates heard what I already knew, she knows her business and was hired for a reason. Problem solved. "D" is happy and moving forward.

"D" is also a dog person. Her Doberman, Max, has been in therapy to regain the use of his back legs. Finally, this week, the water therapy which was recommended has been producing some results. Good luck Max. Keep on going....

On Saturday, I visited for lunch with my friends, C,K and the "Littles" a wonderful family of five (including my goddaughter-to-be baby Bella) who have become close friends that I love a lot. We had a wonderful lunch from Portillo's ( which they paid for over my objections - I made them promise that next time it's my turn). After lunch, we talked for hours about, among other things, Bella's therapies, Beauty's EI (Early Intervention) school and Bear's sports class. We shared family stories and secrets that only draw people closer. I like that. This is an extraordinary family that I will enjoy being around for a long time.

Sunday. In my life, when you spend Saturday playing..... Sunday becomes very domestic. With help from BW, laundry was done, a few bills were paid and we did a major visit to the grocery store. As I mentioned before, BW is a great cook. He had menus planned for the current week and knew exactly what we needed to buy. I filled in the list with household stuff. We had a very successful trip and didn't forget anything. That's important.

Monday. A workday for all here. BW cranking up his job search in all directions, revising resumes and, of course, hoping for a callback. Sorry I don't have any cute little kid stories. My sons are very big kids. However, they do eat and sleep as often as possible just like the little ones do.

Tuesday. Another workday for all. Rewind and repeat. I woke up with any earache and a sore throat thinking, of course, that I was finally going deaf. You see, I wear headphones, every day, all day to create the "white noise" I need to concentrate on my work. I went to the "Minute Clinic" for some pain relief. Although, it turns out not serious, it's still painful. The nurse practitioner, although polite and professional, was not prepared to give me any cool sinus decongestant drugs because of my high blood pressure medication. Damn. I'll try again on Friday with my doctor, Dr. Feelgood. He comes into the examining room with his prescription pad in hand and asks " What is it you need"??

Wednesday. Gee that's today. Another workday for all. Rewind and repeat. As I write this, I hear chainsaws buzzing outside which means that BW and BP are proceeding with the backyard remodeling (your remember- required by the bank) . They actually did some work last night, by electric construction lighting, to deconstruct the outside stairs which were built in 1991. We try to revolve our major refuse days around Wednesday. Garbage pickup is Thursday in this neighborhood. That's information I'm sure you needed to know. So, if you come to my house with a lot of garbage, come on Wednesday.

As they used to say, that is the week that was. No drama, crises or major upheaval. Nice.


Thanks for reading. Your comments are welcome

April 15, 2010

BTK here. I thought it would be appropriate for the "taxman" to have a post on tax day..

Ah.. dear readers.. some of you may need a bit of background to support that assertion. You see I have done what I do in the same industry for 42 years now. While it is not my day-to-day pursuit in my current position, I have an industry reputation as an employment tax expert which is based on some 30 of those years spent studying IRS and state documentation and implementing systems and procedures which compute and report on payroll taxes while making sure the computations are accurate. So on the day when you all must settle up with the IRS and your state(s), I just want to say this. If the systems I have helped to build, support and calculate have touched you, in some small way, I hope they helped you to make proper tax decisions for your family. I strive every day to make sure that every paycheck my calculations touch is as accurate as I can make it.

With the current jobs bill legislation on the table, new calculation challenges are presented. I am already working with a team at my company to make sure that we deliver understandable and accurate computations to support the new hire tax breaks provided to employers.

Happy Tax Day.... (appropriate "TaxMan" Beatles music plays here)

Beyond that ....... since last time.

Family is fine. BW and BP, together again as they were meant to be, bonding as brothers are supposed to do.

Remodeling moves forward. The back brick-paver patio has been deconstructed and the new support lumber (6 x 6) is in place and leveled. The bricks will be reset (I get to help with that 'cause that's a tedious sittin' job that I don't mind) once the deck base is re-leveled and supported with sand and pea gravel. So, BTK is on the clock for that.

I continue my advocacy class at Hadley School for the Blind. I want Bella, my god daughter-to be, and I to have all of our guns loaded (with knowledge). Combined with the knowledge from her parents, K & C.. She will blow the world away. I guarantee.

I think I had mentioned a while back that I was physically challenged myself. I also think I promised to explain "later". Well, now is later. I was born, like Bella, physically challenged.

Some history is in order. I was born with cerebral palsy, affecting only my legs, and leaving untouched my arms, voice, brain, speech, etc. from a medical perspective, a mild case of the disease at best. I have married, raised a family, held a job and conducted a fairly productive life for my 62 years. Looking back, my challenges are nothing compared to what baby Bella might face.

When I found her story, through her supermom's blog, I was "inspired and touched beyond words". Through my life I have received boundless help from my parents, my siblings and medical professionals, too many to count, to achieve the life that I have accomplished today.

We all know the phrase " paybacks are a bitch". When I met little Bella through her parents, C & K, I knew that she and I were going to be friends for life. I am challenged, she is challenged more. But guess what, we'll deal with it together. I'll kick the doors open that she can't see and and she'll tell me about the doors that I don't acknowledge are there because her sixth sense will always keep us safe. Good team she and I.

As always, I've rambled too long. But, if you're here, you knew that anyway.

Thanks for reading ... your comments are welcome

April 13, 2010

BTK here. Ok. Title is still not real creative. Sorry. We talked about that last time and I'm working on it. Read on and see about this week.

A new topic. My employer has now required Anti- Harrassment training. It is being offered as a required online course to be completed by May 26, 2010. While I am not opposed to such training, I have often thought that reasonable, intelligent human beings should not need to be taught how to treat each other in a proper way. I will complete the training as ordered by the policy. However, you can read my comments, if you dare.

In the old days, co-workers of both sexes could share jokes, in good taste, share friendly borderline comments and even deliver sexual innuendos without anyone being offended. Today, you can barely say much beyond "Good Morning" to a co-worker, that you do not know, without risking a confrontation or a potential harassment complaint. I have always respected ethnicity, race, creed, sex, disability (duh) and most of the other "protected characteristics" before it was law to do so. Obviously, times are changing.

I will find it difficult to change so quickly. I am a friendly person. I like women. I enjoy my female colleagues and hopefully some of them feel the same about me. To those who do, I let them know that, both verbally and physically, with their approval (i.e. a hug, a peck on the cheek) that I appreciate their friendship and positive response. I never overstep the individual bounds which each one sets. If you're not a "hugger" I leave you alone. I respect each individual's feelings and temper my response accordingly. I also know that one single encounter does not govern all the rest. Mutual understanding & respect are most important. I am very, very careful.

I must say, in conclusion, that this is just one more example of how reasonable people (an SCOTUS term) have failed to deal with each other respectfully. We need these rules because of the men and women (I use those terms losely) who don't, and will never, understand and deal with each other properly.

On a personal note, C and K of (C, K and the Littles") have been sick this week with allergies and other ailments. I can only hope that they are well enough by Saturday to keep our "date for some fun"

Some of you may know that I have been honored to be designated as a godfather-to-be for a special needs child. Bella , who is six months old, has joined us in this world with challenges, which among other things, probably will render her blind for most of her life. We can hope for future research which reverses this trend. But, for now, we deal with what it is.

I want to understand how to advocate for Bella as she grows. To do that I have enrolled in an on-line advocacy class at Chicago's Hadley School for the Blind. This is the first of many courses to allow me to understand and actively participate in the life that Bella will lead... more later

Lastly, this week I visited my office today. I have worked from home since July, 2009. I have been productive and happy in that pursuit. However, until today, I did not realize the importance of staying personally connected to my friends and work colleagues. Today, their in person visits and kind words let me know that I was still a valued member of the team. As if that was not enough, I received a personal phone call, when I arrived home, from our CEO, a longtime friend and colleague. I missed him personally during my office visit and still he felt obligated to call. Friends like this don't happen a lot. I cherish al lof them indeed.

Thanks again for reading... comments welcome

April 5, 2010

BTK here. I didn't get more creative with my titles yet because most of what I have to say, for now, is for that small circle of family and friends who spend a few moments enjoying (I hope) what I have to say.

On that title thing, I did some research and tripped over a concept called SEO ( Search Engine Optimized) titles. OK, don't get scared. This is apparently something that " paid per post" bloggers need to worry about. Since, perhaps, the way you title a post influences the number of " search engine" hits you get and, based on your contract, the number of hits or comments you get may influence your paycheck. I'm still counting hits on one hand, or ( to be honest) not at all since I don't know how. Just some BTK trivia for you all. If you're here, you want to be. Read on.

My family Easter holiday, advanced to March 28 for attendance reasons, was ok. Since my "P" has passed, these are obligatory things that one must do. I don't enjoy them because about half of the people in attendance I don't care to see or talk with. Those that I do, I concentrate on and I typically leave early. The food is always good. The company, beyond my sister-in-law. "K" and her children, "not so much". Thankfully, the next one of those "family therapy sessions" isn't until November, for Thanksgiving. Maybe I can think of some place else to be by then.

This past week has been both a holiday and a religious week.

For the children, anticipating the Easter Bunny and his visit on yesterday kept every one of those 'littles" on the edge of their seats. I'm sure. I was invited on Saturday, April 3, 2010 to a first birthday party for K M. Her parents M & J went to high school with my son's and have been dear family friends ever since. I did enjoy the "kid" watching. There must've been a dozen or so children ranging in age from several months to 6 or 7 years. I saw bottles being fed. Honey Nut Cherrios being eaten from a table and well behaved toddlers being fed my mom until they had their fill. The children were nicely dressed and TRULY well behaved. It was a wonderful day for me. There was, of course, some expected discontent for the babes. There was no uncontrolled screaming or anything even close to a temper tantrum. I made sure I, publicly, told their parents what a credit it was to their parenting. I had a few cocktails, ate a lot of good food and did a "sober" 70 mile round-trip road trip with my hand controls.... a new milestone....

Easter, April 4, was an anti-climax to say the least. P& A off to Cedar Lake on Saturday evening for Easter with friends. BW, on Saturday evening, off to the city for Easter with his girlfriend. Me, alone again, naturally. (I think I'll write a song). I think my reaction to being alone was more mental than anything else. I've been alone many Sundays before and never felt quite like I did. I suspect it might be all of the holiday wishes from friends and remote family and then having to explain that our family "did something different' and they would politely react " oh, that's nice!"... so, I did laundry and paid the bills.

I guess, all in all, it's disconcerting in a way. I don't like change. I don't like being told what to do or where to be, without options. My "P" could always tell me what to do. She knew that. However, she never did. In 36 years, she always found a way to ask and when she asked, I always did what she asked, ALWAYS. I don't mind being asked and, when asked, I will, without question, compromise. I am no hard ass. I just don't like having my opinion be assumed or me being pushed around, ever. If you have the guts to ask me, I will tell you what I think. If you can't stand to listen to the answer, don't ask me the question.

My remodeling. Yet another roadblock. The banks underwriters want refinancing repairs done in what I think is an unreasonable time. My mortgage banker is sympathetic and easy to deal with. But, the underwriters that she must deal with don't have a soul. We'll see if there's a compromise.

Now, to BW. I I know he reads this blog, for which I'm thankful. So, I must write carefully. I want him to find the perfect job. But, there may not be time to wait until fall when the colleges are hiring. He has placed multiple applications for history teaching positions. He should certainly receive a response or two.

In the meanwhile, he has no income now and must certainly be feeling more dependent than any man would like to be. That's OK, I got his back. I try not to press too hard. He's recovering well from a long way down and I'm sure, it's a step at a time coming back. I thought I lost him there for a bit. I did not. He is back, and on it, and I could not be prouder and happier.

I know he gets frustrated. That's his way. He's ready to crank. When BW is tuned, stuff can't happen fast enough. I hope that he finds an interim job that will provide some cash and some fun. Nothing like cash and fun to lift your spirits, heh ??

I found a good note on which to end. Cash and Fun.

My best to my favorite Doo-Op goup (C,.K, and the "Littles")

Thanks for reading...comments welcome

March 27, 2010

BTK here. Well, it has been a good week. BW home and getting settled. I had the most productive week at work that I've had, perhaps in months. I didn't realize how distracted and preoccupied I was by BW's circumstances. Now that the immediate crisis has been resolved. We can move toward a very bright future.

I've been eating well this week. BW is a great cook and actually likes doing it. He and I will be cooking later today together for the family Easter celebration tomorrow. Yes, I said tomorrow. My family has moved their celebration up one week to make sure that everybody could attend.

BP and AP were off to Detroit this morning for an overnight van club event. They will be back tomorrow afternoon to celebrate the holiday. They have a longtime friend in the van club there who suffers from Parkinson's disease and has been diagnosed as terminal. BP makes it a point to attend every one of that club's events and spend some time with his ailing friend.

This week I spoke to a former colleague who I had not been in touch with for almost 20 years. We worked together for 10 years until our company was sold in 1991. I do not recall speaking to him since then. I am on a committee which is organizing a reunion later this year, after 20 years, of all former employees of the sold company. The former owner/ president, now in his 80s, is throwing a giant pizza party with all the trimmings at Gino's East, downtown. We are tracking down people by any means possible. I got his contact information from a mutual friend who I communicate with regularly.

We had a nice talk. He is semi retired now. But, has applied to do some part-time work for the US Census Bureau. Since 1991, he has had a number of jobs each lasting no more than two years or so. I, personally, would find that disconcerting. From the way he talked, it didn't seem to bother him though. I recall that he was a guy who was always "chasing a buck". Maybe you have to move often if that is your goal. He has traveled to Germany several times. His wife of 41 years still has relatives there. He talked of retiring in Florida ( or somewhere other than here). He lives in Michigan City, IN. I believe.

Back to reunion for a moment. I've had a lot of fun being on the committee. Catching up with old friends. Telling war stories and, most of all, looking forward to the event. We even have 20 people interested in staying in a downtown hotel, at their expense, for the evening. The event is in September, 2010. So, in June,2010, I'll take a final hotel headcount and go looking for a deal on a block of rooms close the the event.

I tell you it must "old home" week. I was befriended on FB by another old friend who I had not seen since 1971. He was one of my brother's best friends during the brother's undergraduate years at Marquette. I got to know him when he joined us in my parent's home when my brother was home on various holiday or academic breaks. He reminded me that we last spoke at my brother's wedding in May, 1971. He wrote me an e-mail catch -up epistle and I responded in kind last evening. I await his response. Good feelings, indeed.

BW and I had lunch yesterday with a college friend of his from St. Joe. BW and AH were on the Mock Trial team together. Besides sharing a great friendship, they also shared some rewarding experiences in the productions staged by the Columbian Players, the college's theater group.

My "P" and I saw all of those performances. We saw true talents, in those boys, that we did not know they had. They were creative, engaging and very funny, when called for. Truly wonderful to watch. If I think back and concentrate a bit, I can remember how I felt after each performance. Because each one was better that the last. They left my P and I almost speechless. We looked at each other and said "where did that talent come from". Of course, my P immediately said "I'll admit that the brains might come from your family. But, talent like that comes from mine". She then smiled broadly to emphasize her point. I acknowledged that she was right.

I digress. A word about that. She was right, ALOT. She was a better judge of people. She could instantly, as soon as she met someone, know if they could be her friend. It took me longer. She knew that and helped me. She openly expressed her feelings while mine were always there, but left unsaid. In hindsight, I should have said more. People who knew her tell me that " she knew how you felt". Well, why did I keep her guessing ??? . I should have said more, more often. She kept me from doing lots of stupid shit through the years. She was always more worldly and practical while I was posing as an impulsive intellectual. She tolerated that and let me think that I was "driving the bus". When, in fact, she was not only driving the bus but had redecorated it while I wasn't looking and I, almost always, liked it. Enough.

Just wanted you to have a glimpse of what I had and have now lost, until we're together again.

I'm OK. I'm thinking if these feelings don't go on the page so I can revisit them when I'd like, I'll struggle with getting past them. That's what this blogging is about for me just now. Acknowledging and recording feelings, events and "points in time" so I can move down the road.

Thanks for reading ...hope you found something you liked or laughed about

March 22, 2010

BTK reaching out. It has been a bit since we got together ... a lot has happened. By now, BW is home, healthy and getting settled and has left Madison behind for now. It was hard for him to leave. I know that. It was his home for five years with all his favorite places and his friends. But, without funding changes were inevitable. We will work to get him back there, if we can, when the employment picture changes. His remaining PhD requirements can be taken care of remotely.

That said. We move on. As Tennyson said in Ulysses " that which we are, we are, one equal temper of heroic hearts, Made weak by time and fate, but strong in will. To strive, to seek, to find and not to yield".

So, rewind to Saturday, March 20th, 5:30am CDT. BTK and PB rollout of the rack and prepare for the road trip. The night before, BP had packed every conceivable tool or hardware item that we might need. There were boxes, packing tape, storage bags, razor blade scrapers, hand tools, power tools and an assortment of nails, screws and fasteners. Even a small bucket of spackle and a putty knife. We were prepared to fix or repair anything in that apartment so that BW and his stuff could leave with us that day.

We walked out of the house and knew, immediately, that the weather was not going to cooperate out of Chicago. We drove straight into the ice and snow mix that was predicted as it came from the northwest (i.e. Madison) moving southeast. Only PB's cool demeanor behind the wheel kept us moving. We had to stop at the Belvedere Oasis. BP had to chip half-inch ice out of the wiper wells and off the wiper blades so they would function again. Thankfully, as we moved northwest, we could see the snow on the trees and parkways. But, the payment was dry and the current precipitation conditions stabilized and eventually stopped when we arrived in Madison.

We picked up our U-Haul trailer in Madison right on schedule at 9:00am CDT. BP loves to be on time and hates to be late. We arrived at BW's place and with some inventive driving and manual labor PB and BW got the trailer right next to the back door. PB attempted to build a plywood ramp. But, could not fashion it safely. He scrapped the idea and they dealt with the two steep, concrete stairs.

BW had all of his stuff packed despite the fact that he had been without glasses for the best part of the past two weeks. Just to give you some perspective, in order to read and answer e-mails during that time, he had hold the laptop 6 inches from his face. The fact that he got anything packed is a credit to his courage and fortitude.

Those boys loaded that trailer and "final" cleaned the apartment in under two hours. Even BTK got on the business end of a vacuum cleaner. I am not scared of those tasks. I just have limited mobility these days and take a lot of breaks. The boys didn't seem to care about the breaks. So I just kept on strokin'...doing what I could.

Coming home the weather doesn't cooperate either. There are stretches that are treacherous with limited mobility for 15 to 20 miles. Now, we are towing a full trailer which is dancing all over the road. Once again, BP and his cool demeanor behind the wheel gets it done.

Once home, by BW's choice, his clothes came to the house and everything else went into storage. Remembering the conditions under which he packed, he wanted to sort things out in his own time and decide what he needed at home. Good thinking.

Sunday... domestic tasks. laundry, paperwork put off too long and well-deserved rest for all. BW spent the evening with his girlfriend in the city. They needed that time together .... now that we're all together, again.

Today... Work for PB, AP and me. BW hooking up with Depaul resources for library privileges at the Newberry. His Masters degree in history is from De Paul in 2005. So, he just needed to upgrade his credentials.

Tomorrow ... tune in next time.

Thanks for reading ... until next time