March 27, 2010

BTK here. Well, it has been a good week. BW home and getting settled. I had the most productive week at work that I've had, perhaps in months. I didn't realize how distracted and preoccupied I was by BW's circumstances. Now that the immediate crisis has been resolved. We can move toward a very bright future.

I've been eating well this week. BW is a great cook and actually likes doing it. He and I will be cooking later today together for the family Easter celebration tomorrow. Yes, I said tomorrow. My family has moved their celebration up one week to make sure that everybody could attend.

BP and AP were off to Detroit this morning for an overnight van club event. They will be back tomorrow afternoon to celebrate the holiday. They have a longtime friend in the van club there who suffers from Parkinson's disease and has been diagnosed as terminal. BP makes it a point to attend every one of that club's events and spend some time with his ailing friend.

This week I spoke to a former colleague who I had not been in touch with for almost 20 years. We worked together for 10 years until our company was sold in 1991. I do not recall speaking to him since then. I am on a committee which is organizing a reunion later this year, after 20 years, of all former employees of the sold company. The former owner/ president, now in his 80s, is throwing a giant pizza party with all the trimmings at Gino's East, downtown. We are tracking down people by any means possible. I got his contact information from a mutual friend who I communicate with regularly.

We had a nice talk. He is semi retired now. But, has applied to do some part-time work for the US Census Bureau. Since 1991, he has had a number of jobs each lasting no more than two years or so. I, personally, would find that disconcerting. From the way he talked, it didn't seem to bother him though. I recall that he was a guy who was always "chasing a buck". Maybe you have to move often if that is your goal. He has traveled to Germany several times. His wife of 41 years still has relatives there. He talked of retiring in Florida ( or somewhere other than here). He lives in Michigan City, IN. I believe.

Back to reunion for a moment. I've had a lot of fun being on the committee. Catching up with old friends. Telling war stories and, most of all, looking forward to the event. We even have 20 people interested in staying in a downtown hotel, at their expense, for the evening. The event is in September, 2010. So, in June,2010, I'll take a final hotel headcount and go looking for a deal on a block of rooms close the the event.

I tell you it must "old home" week. I was befriended on FB by another old friend who I had not seen since 1971. He was one of my brother's best friends during the brother's undergraduate years at Marquette. I got to know him when he joined us in my parent's home when my brother was home on various holiday or academic breaks. He reminded me that we last spoke at my brother's wedding in May, 1971. He wrote me an e-mail catch -up epistle and I responded in kind last evening. I await his response. Good feelings, indeed.

BW and I had lunch yesterday with a college friend of his from St. Joe. BW and AH were on the Mock Trial team together. Besides sharing a great friendship, they also shared some rewarding experiences in the productions staged by the Columbian Players, the college's theater group.

My "P" and I saw all of those performances. We saw true talents, in those boys, that we did not know they had. They were creative, engaging and very funny, when called for. Truly wonderful to watch. If I think back and concentrate a bit, I can remember how I felt after each performance. Because each one was better that the last. They left my P and I almost speechless. We looked at each other and said "where did that talent come from". Of course, my P immediately said "I'll admit that the brains might come from your family. But, talent like that comes from mine". She then smiled broadly to emphasize her point. I acknowledged that she was right.

I digress. A word about that. She was right, ALOT. She was a better judge of people. She could instantly, as soon as she met someone, know if they could be her friend. It took me longer. She knew that and helped me. She openly expressed her feelings while mine were always there, but left unsaid. In hindsight, I should have said more. People who knew her tell me that " she knew how you felt". Well, why did I keep her guessing ??? . I should have said more, more often. She kept me from doing lots of stupid shit through the years. She was always more worldly and practical while I was posing as an impulsive intellectual. She tolerated that and let me think that I was "driving the bus". When, in fact, she was not only driving the bus but had redecorated it while I wasn't looking and I, almost always, liked it. Enough.

Just wanted you to have a glimpse of what I had and have now lost, until we're together again.

I'm OK. I'm thinking if these feelings don't go on the page so I can revisit them when I'd like, I'll struggle with getting past them. That's what this blogging is about for me just now. Acknowledging and recording feelings, events and "points in time" so I can move down the road.

Thanks for reading ...hope you found something you liked or laughed about

March 22, 2010

BTK reaching out. It has been a bit since we got together ... a lot has happened. By now, BW is home, healthy and getting settled and has left Madison behind for now. It was hard for him to leave. I know that. It was his home for five years with all his favorite places and his friends. But, without funding changes were inevitable. We will work to get him back there, if we can, when the employment picture changes. His remaining PhD requirements can be taken care of remotely.

That said. We move on. As Tennyson said in Ulysses " that which we are, we are, one equal temper of heroic hearts, Made weak by time and fate, but strong in will. To strive, to seek, to find and not to yield".

So, rewind to Saturday, March 20th, 5:30am CDT. BTK and PB rollout of the rack and prepare for the road trip. The night before, BP had packed every conceivable tool or hardware item that we might need. There were boxes, packing tape, storage bags, razor blade scrapers, hand tools, power tools and an assortment of nails, screws and fasteners. Even a small bucket of spackle and a putty knife. We were prepared to fix or repair anything in that apartment so that BW and his stuff could leave with us that day.

We walked out of the house and knew, immediately, that the weather was not going to cooperate out of Chicago. We drove straight into the ice and snow mix that was predicted as it came from the northwest (i.e. Madison) moving southeast. Only PB's cool demeanor behind the wheel kept us moving. We had to stop at the Belvedere Oasis. BP had to chip half-inch ice out of the wiper wells and off the wiper blades so they would function again. Thankfully, as we moved northwest, we could see the snow on the trees and parkways. But, the payment was dry and the current precipitation conditions stabilized and eventually stopped when we arrived in Madison.

We picked up our U-Haul trailer in Madison right on schedule at 9:00am CDT. BP loves to be on time and hates to be late. We arrived at BW's place and with some inventive driving and manual labor PB and BW got the trailer right next to the back door. PB attempted to build a plywood ramp. But, could not fashion it safely. He scrapped the idea and they dealt with the two steep, concrete stairs.

BW had all of his stuff packed despite the fact that he had been without glasses for the best part of the past two weeks. Just to give you some perspective, in order to read and answer e-mails during that time, he had hold the laptop 6 inches from his face. The fact that he got anything packed is a credit to his courage and fortitude.

Those boys loaded that trailer and "final" cleaned the apartment in under two hours. Even BTK got on the business end of a vacuum cleaner. I am not scared of those tasks. I just have limited mobility these days and take a lot of breaks. The boys didn't seem to care about the breaks. So I just kept on strokin'...doing what I could.

Coming home the weather doesn't cooperate either. There are stretches that are treacherous with limited mobility for 15 to 20 miles. Now, we are towing a full trailer which is dancing all over the road. Once again, BP and his cool demeanor behind the wheel gets it done.

Once home, by BW's choice, his clothes came to the house and everything else went into storage. Remembering the conditions under which he packed, he wanted to sort things out in his own time and decide what he needed at home. Good thinking.

Sunday... domestic tasks. laundry, paperwork put off too long and well-deserved rest for all. BW spent the evening with his girlfriend in the city. They needed that time together .... now that we're all together, again.

Today... Work for PB, AP and me. BW hooking up with Depaul resources for library privileges at the Newberry. His Masters degree in history is from De Paul in 2005. So, he just needed to upgrade his credentials.

Tomorrow ... tune in next time.

Thanks for reading ... until next time

March 18, 2010

BTK Here. I promise I'll come up with better, more creative, titles. But for now, chronology works. Remember my son, BW, is a historian, one of those names, dates and places guys. When he comes home on Saturday, March 20th, he will surely throttle me to death for creating such a horrible stereotype of which he wants no part.

So, St. Paddy's Day. BP cooked the traditional Irish boiled dinner (i.e. corned beef, cabbage, potatoes and carrots) . It's a perfect dish for the crockpot. I told BP that I might be willing to try to be the chef next year. Not to improve on the recipe, mind you, but just to prove that BTK could do it too ( with a crockpot). For all of you guys who think you can't cook, get yourself a crockpot. It comes with a simple recipe book. Like my dear departed P used to say, if you can read, you can cook, at least a little. Take the recipe to the store with you and collect the ingredients. Guys, you know what you like and the recipes help you to substitute or eliminate stuff you don't like. Pick one recipe and start there. Give your wives a break.

Outside the crockpot, I have actually been complemented on my " breakfast for dinner" . At my house, we like bacon, pancakes, hashbrowns, toast and eggs cooked to order, all of which I cook pretty well, I'm told.. We complement that with milk, juice, coffee (decaf for me) and some sort of decadent coffee cake for dessert. I know I have readers with dietary preferences or restrictions. So, when I cook (and clean up) for you, you get to pick, choose and substitute all you want. Schedule your next BTK Breakfast For Dinner, at your house, soon and send me your menu preferences.

On St. Paddy's, we stayed in for the evening. Listened to traditional music. Sipped some Irish whiskey and enjoyed the company of the evening. I typically don't go out except for a private party and, even then, not too far from home. Cops all over the world use this day as a way to make their monthly ticket quota. If you choose to challenge them with your compromised driving skills, then you deserve the consequences. I hope you all played it safe.

Today was a "back to work day". Productive? I'd say so. The technical nature of my job tells me that I need not share details and risk putting you all to sleep. Suffice to say, I earned my money today which is always a good feeling.

Today, my dear friend, C ( of C, K and the Littles) received an honorary PhD in EI from IL and is here by designated as an IL EI SuperMom by BTK. Congrats and luv u a lot. She will need a much larger business card soon. Printing bids are being accepted.

Tonght BP, AP and I attended a wake for the mother of a close friend. Mom lost her battle with cancer. During the visitation, while talking to people, I realized that this woman in her short 69 years had "really touched" every one she ever met, family and friends The pictures, the stories, the conversation through which we were attempting to celebrate her life, while great, seemed like not enough to bestow the "life credit" she was due.

She is now visiting with my P. I have asked my P to show her the "rookie ropes" up there. I hope they will be friends. I surely think that they could be and together bring peace and happiness to those here and those who will later follow them into eternity.

A true Irish wake. "the sun rose to meet her, the wind was at her back (how about this beautiful day) and she was, in fact, in heaven one half hour before the devil knew she was dead".

Tomorrow... house appraisal on my refinance .. my car comes home from the hospital.
Saturday .... BW comes home ....Yaaaaaaaay !!!

Thanks for reading ... please comment if you wish.

March 16, 2010

Today, BTK celebrated the 32nd anniversary of his 30th birthday. That is the last birthday I really choose to acknowledge. So, I observe it, as an anniversay, once a year on this date. So, many good wishes, cards and gifts from everyone. Thank you. A very special gift arrived via courier from C, K and the Littles (no, it's not a 50's doo-op group). Close friends that I love a lot. Thank you guys, very, very special.

BP and AP provided a fabulous birthday meal at a local spot (that we will definitely revisit) and a Willie Nelson 3-CD compilation set which has tracks that even I don't have (that's goin' some) and it kicks ass. I love Willy, always have, with his unique style for pickin', singing, writing and being himself. IMHO, no one better, just sayin'. I have started playing the guitar some again ( after a 25 year hiatus) and he is one of my idols. Even old guys are allowed to have those, ya' know.

Before work, I dropped my car off for repairs. Should be done by Friday. Another new experience, you see, I now drive with adaptive hand controls. So, the rental car option is complicated. You must call ahead and hope the representative you get on the phone knows what the hell you're talking about. If they don't have a vehicle in the region that Is properly adapted, you are out of luck. My driver's license has a restriction that requires a certain ( fairly common) configuration of adaptive equipment. Car rental companies are not required by the ADA to guarantee an accommodation. Maybe they should be ?? Perhaps, we'll talk about this more in the future. The repair shop gave me a ride home and will pick me up again when the car is repaired. At least someone remembers what customer service should be like.

Yes, I worked today. In my home office, I had the windows open and the sun shining on my workspace so it went fast. I have had more productive days. Just couldn't get in the groove. Tomorrow will be better.

This evening, I spoke with family who called to share birthday wishes.Thanks to them for that. Even though I am the oldest sibling and they tease me about being able to "count that high", I appreciate hearing from them.

Lastly, I spoke with BW. As I said yesterday, he is home in Madison preparing to come to Chicago on Saturday, March 20. He's making great progress with last-minute details. Right down to scrubbing the kitchen floor on his hands and knees. He said " the 40-year-old tile floor never looked better". I know that he's right about that. His mind continues to crank in a way that only BW can do. He's mentally multitasking ( thinking about today and tomorrow) and coming to some very practical conclusions and courses of action.

I can only hope for him that his glasses are ready tomorrow. With all of the other challenges he has faced recently, he has been "blind" ( i.e. reading the computer screen from 6 inches away) for the last week and a half. C'mon glasses..... He said something about "knowing how Stevie Wonder feels" . With glasses, he can go to the University and finish the required paperwork so that his journey toward a PhD remains uninterrupted when he comes to Chicago.

It's late, we're tired... you of my blabbering on and me of my blabbering on.

Thanks for reading.. please comment if you wish.

March 15, 2010

BTK back . Sorry for the extended absence.

There are things I have to say about this absence and things that must remain private.

Let's start here. BW admitted himself to the hospital on Saturday, March 13th. He was not well and perhaps had not been for several months. He had the courage to call 911, get himself admitted to a hospital and get the help he so desperately needed. He's fine now. Back on point. Tonight, back to the comforts of his home and looking to the future. BP and I will be bringing him home to Chicago on Saturday, March 20. Details are private. Don't ask, ' cause I won't tell. Just be glad BW is baaaaack!!

Saturday.March 13th. I actually left the house for the day. Surprise. I attended the first annual Oak Forest Fleadh ( pronounced "flah"). When I read about it in the paper, I made a decision. This was not another event I was simply going to avoid because of the crowd. So, I asked for an accommodation for my disability. I wrote my alderman an e-mail not knowing what to expect. After all, I've never done that before. I take what life deals and tolerate it.

My alderman, Chuck Towland, arranged for a personalized, reserved parking place right along the parade route at a tavern called Mrs. OBrien's Pub. They posted a special "professionally made" sign above my parking space which said " Mr. BTK (they used my proper surname, sorry, it's s a secret) Parking Only" and protected the space with a public works sawhorse. If you don't know my city, Oak Forest, you would not realize what a perfect location this was for me. One block for food and back to Mrs. OBriens for drink. The Pub staff even set up a special viewing chair for me for the parade. I had a great time. The people watching truly made the day. I don't drink often outside the house. My special thanks to Tom Hinsdale, the owner, for making this possible. I will visit them and soon again. Perhaps, tomorrow, on my birthday.

On to Sunday then. Talked to several good friends by phone. Calmed me down to hear their voices and have some conversation. Checked on BW in hospital. All Good. Laundry... pretty boring.. we discussed that . life still has to happen.

Today. BW home and ALL is good.. Got the repair estimate on my car... minor fender bender thing .. no big deal. I cut the corner too close on a narrow fast food drive-through and creased the driver's side. Not serious. Not hurt. No one else involved. Will drop the car off tomorrow and have it back by Friday.

Met another lovely, smart young woman today who helped me reorganize finances on my home to allow us to complete the remodeling on schedule with sufficient financing. Obviously, the boring paperwork review that BTK (aka Captain Paperwork) could provide serves no useful purpose here. Suffice to say all is good and smart women abound, thank god.

Talked to another longtime friend and another very smart woman, RR. She is wonderful and I am blessed to have her as a confidant.

March 12, 2010

Seems a shame to repeat. so I won't.

BW is "on it" focused on coming home on the March 20th. I want to keep him focused on short run goals.

He contacted the graduate coordinator at school today and began the "late enrollment" paperwork so that he can preserve his Ph.D. status and hopefully, re -defer the student loans that have now come due. That is a good thing.

His glasses are still forthcoming and communication other than voice is extremely challenging. He forges ahead with his best effort.

BP and LDG went out for dinner with Polka Pete. It is Pete's 30th birthday. I would cherish that birthday again. But, probably have to count backwards too far.

Busy weekend coming up. Oak Forest St. Patty's parade tomorrow. I arranged, through my alderman, for a reserved parking spot and seat on the parade route. Never did that before. Tired of staying home, I guess. Hope to have a great time. On Sunday, will be meeting an old friend for lunch. I'm old, she's not. The lunch will be fresh and we'll have a great time. Looking forward indeed.

As St. Patrick's Day approaches, I share with you my favorite excerpt from an Irish blessing: May the sun rise to meet you, May the wind be always at your back, and may you be in heaven one half hour before the devil knows you're dead !!

Thank you for reading. Comment if you like.

March 11, 2010

BTK here, again. So work begins and ends as expected.

But, as we talked about yesterday... life continues to happen.

BW e-mailed this morning to say that his bank balance was only $37 overdrawn. Refreshing. Previous reports yielded high three digit overdraft balances. So, I transferred some money so he can get around this week. BP and I will bring him home on March 20th. But he must be able to live till then. Fortunately, our checking accounts are in the same bank and transfers take a very small number of hours.

Remember, BW lost his glasses, did not have a spare and absolutely cannot see without them.

When I spoke to him mid-morning today, he had received the funds and had already secured an appointment to get replacement glasses and he hoped he could find a friend to give him a ride. (BW, clicking on all cyliders now, yay !) You, see, his vision is so bad that, although he could take the bus and ask the driver for help to get him to the correct stop, he would never find the store once he got off the bus. When I realized that while talking to him, I suggested that he get a duplicate pair as a backup and if he couldn't find a friend to drive him, just take a taxi. He readily agreed. I guess sometimes we don't realize our shortcomings until were confronted with them. We both learned a valuable lesson.

He ended up taking a taxi, there and back, and called me upon his return home. He apologized for spending the $32 it cost. I reassured him that $32 was a small price to pay for his safety. He agreed.

I spoke to BW's landlord to settle accounts. This guy has been more than fair and deserves to be paid. I will care for that. Because if BW can go back there in the future, he may need this guy. Not good to burn bridges when you don't have to.

BW continues his packing and is focused on coming home on March 20. He has some school paperwork to care for which he will do when he gets his glasses next Wednesday.

I am so glad that while life provides hurdles, it also provides ways to jump over them even for those of us who don't jump real well ( I'll explain those details another time).

Thanks again for reading. Please comment or ask questions if you like.

March 10, 2010

BTK here. I thought I'd start off easy since I am new to this blogging stuff and perhaps just record my day, so far, for later reference. I started work about 8:30am.

Oh yeah, work. I didn't tell you about that. I am a QA engineer which means I test software. In my case, I test web-based software specifically designed to provide payroll, human resource and tax solutions for the customers of the company I work for. This is my story, not theirs. No advertisements or solicitations will be forthcoming other than to say it is a great company to work for because I'm allowed to work from home. Right now, I'm doing that five days a week. As the weather improves here in Chicagoland, I may venture back to the office (50 miles one way) occasionally. I do miss the in-person interaction with my colleagues. Hopefully, they feel the same about me. My manager is very flexible as long as I complete my assignments on time. She lives and works from her home on a farm in northwestern Oregon. Pretty progressive company, huh ?

So the work day went pretty much as scripted. E-mails, IM's ( we use an in-house version of Spark IM since lots of folks work remotely), support requests from colleagues and with the workday ending as expected. No drama or crisis. That's great.

However, as you all know, while working, life also happens.

I am CONSIDERING reorganizing my finances (i.e. mortgage, student loans, home equity line, credit cards, etc.) to perhaps consolidate and take advantage of the low interest rates. I have found a bank who, I think, actually seems to care about customers. Once again, this is my story, not theirs. No advertisements or solicitations will be forthcoming. My mortgage banker called me to take a "preliminary application" over the phone. She seems knowledgeable and friendly. But, seems new in her position. She said that this "pre-app" expedites the process during our finance review appointment scheduled for next Monday, March 15th. This weekend I will have to go through the checklist and collect the recordable pieces of my life on paper which they told me they care about. A necessary evil. But, a royal pain in the ass. They can talk the talk... on Monday, we'll see if they can walk the walk. Because, as you will soon learn, if you visit me here again(and I hope you will) at TTBK, I was born at night. But not last night

A BTK tangent... I made a comment about my mortgage banker that some might find condescending. Let me straighten that out right away. I LOVE smart women. I seek them out and leave the others to those men who can't cope. I am looking forward to working with this banker while understanding that she may not yet be the expert that she is destined to become.

Another life event. My son, BW, is coming home. Normally, a homecoming would be a happy time and to have him here so I can help certainly is the happy part. The reason for his homecoming, not so much. You see ... five years ago, BW launched a promising career as a Ph.D. candidate at a prominent midwestern university. However, this semester he lost his funding from the university and did not get the teaching assignment that he expected ( and probably deserved - father's prejudice, perhaps). With a terrible economy and a worse job market, he is forced to come home. This stark reality is enough to bring the most seasoned life-veteran to his knees.

For several weeks, BW "disappeared" and, I know now, sunk into a deep depression. After 3 weeks of silence and no responses to phone calls or e-mails. I had the local police execute a well-being check. Fortunately, they found him alive and stable. He called me shortly thereafter. That was last Thursday. He knows there is something wrong and that he needs help. We're working to bring him home as quickly as possible. Monday, BW / BFF called to ask if I'd heard from BW again. I had not. BW was to visit her this past weekend. He did not show up or call with regrets. While we were on the land line she received a text message from BW saying: glasses lost, ankle sprained.

This morning, on face book, I received a message from BW /BFF. She intimated that they had talked last night and formulated yet another exit-strategy. BW and I had done that before he " disappeared." I am to hear from him tonight. In fact I am waiting for a call, as I write, to get a progress update and to arrange to send money for the new glasses...

Only time will tell .........

BW doesn't remember this right now. But, I am his biggest fan. When his mind is right, no one can compete with him. He is one of the smartest people that I know of any age or education level on the planet. I am proud to have him for a son.

Thanks for your time and interest in reading ...please comment or ask questions if you like. I hope there is something here that helps you. Because it helps me just write it.

If I hear from BW, more later.

More to come... I Promise

Now that I got past the technical stuff to get to you guys and we can talk. .

In future stories, you're going to meet all of the other people in my life who make a difference (remember nicknames). There is CT, KV, Bear, Beauty and Bella. Then there's AK, NM, NJU, NJA, NRJ. Can't forget LDG either and, as the stories require, I'll introduce you to others. This isn't a game for me. It is a way for to tell my stories and protect the identity of those that I love. Please respect that...thanks

The Virgin Post on TTBK -Tall Tales from Billy the Kid

With some help from a valued mentor, I have gone down this road. Need a place to put my thoughts, move on in life and read them again when I need to. E-mail threads are cumbersome at best.. As I tell my stories, they will be real only the names will be changed to "protect the innocent". Read, enjoy, shed a tear and comment, as you choose.

I am "Billy the Kid", the founder of the feast some would say. I will record my modern day life and times honestly and in as full a measure as I am able without incriminating anyone. Everyone in my stories, including me, will have a pseudonym (i.e. nickname) Mine will be BTK. To follow our exploits, if you choose, you'll have to remember your favorites through their nicknames (a trick my mentor taught me)

So, where do I start. I think I'll give some history. BTK unexpectedly loses the love of his life (i.e. P) to a heart attack in November, 2008 after a 36 year life together. Not takin' you there for details, just sayin'. So, life moves on. Still working out the paticulars of survival on a daily basis. But it does get easier, I'm told and I hope.

P leaves behind BTK, and her grown sons, "BW" and "BP" to sort out the world without her. This task is challenging for all of us in our own ways each and every day. We get better at it.. but, haven't solved the puzzle...yet.

So, that's where we start and I see if this post will publish